I had it all wrong

What a unique town I live in. I've come to love my new home. Scratch that, my new town. My home? Now that is one thing I've come to hate. You should never hate your home. Your home is supposed to be your refuge; the one safe place for you to go. Well, I should've had an inspector go through the house before we signed the lease.


You see, when my husband left the military, we shipped all our worldly possessions off to a storage facility in Washington. We left behind our freshly painted townhouse. The one that was just remolded; it was really nice. We took what we needed and set off in search of a new life. We had no plan. I wanted one, but I wasn't given that. It took several long weeks for us to finally have a plan in motion. They were some dark times, followed by even darker times.

So there we were, sleeping on our friend's apartment floor, trying not to let discouragement weigh us down. We drove up and down Western Washington. Trying to find a when you don't have a job is tricky. No one wants to lease you a place if you're not working. On the flip side, we didn't know what our income would be to know what we could afford. We also didn't know which city or town we'd find work in. We looked everywhere. We didn't know the neighborhoods to know if they were a good place to live. We went totally blind to this.

We also felt horrible about staying with our friend for so long but we had no where else to go. We started off trying to leave early and get back at night. But as time passed, I got discouraged and didn't want to go out again. I wanted to relax for once and not be so wound up. I wanted some sort of security. It was so bad that our friend's roommate moved out. He hated that we were there. Now our friend assured us that it wasn't our fault and he didn't care. I was touched by his kindness but I felt AWFUL about it.

Finding a job was really discouraging. I had always been proud of my career back in Maryland. I loved it and was proud of myself for the independent woman I had become. Suddenly, I'm across the country and no one gives a rip about me. I sent my resume everywhere but no one responded. That's blow to one's ego. After weeks for rejection, I found work! I was offered a job one morning and by that afternoon we had a place to live. Finally! Little did I know that job would only last a day but it was all we needed to secure a home. Funny how things work out. Come to find out, this town is just now being hit by the recession. So of course no was hiring.

We drove out to the house and I was so excited. It wasn't until we started unpacking our house that we realized what we had done. We had just moved into a house that looked like I built it. Well, crap. It was really frustrating at first. Now, its rather funny to us. We can't understand how our landlord built this house and got away with it. He asked me if I wanted him to build me a green house. I said, "Sure! I need to learn to garden." I was thrilled when I found out I was getting my own green house. It wasn't until we moved in that we realized where he was putting the greenhouse. He built it up against the back door on the deck. It's so awkwardly placed.

I think I will laugh about this house for the rest of my life. As I'm writing this I can't help but giggle. When the wind blew outside, you could feel the breeze inside. The windows didn't fit in the frame and shook when the wind blew. We had to put Qtips in the window to keep it from shaking! Yuk! He put two panes of glass in the door but didn't bother to clean the inside portion. I couldn't figure out why I couldn't get those darn windows clean. The shelves in the kitchen are held together by three, not four, but three prongs. We have to be careful how we place items on the shelf so it doesn't fall over. The woodstove leaked smoked into the house so there was ALWAYS dust and soot everywhere. The trim was falling off the ceiling. There were cracks in places where should never be a crack. Heck, there is even quarter stuffed between the wall and the floor!?! What is that all about? Half the other stuff, I don't even know how to explain because it doesn't make sense to the naked eye.

Even my dog is confused. He can't tell the difference between the scrap wood outside and the door frame. He gathers all his prized sticks, scrap wood and toys and place it on the porch. Then he'll lay down and chew on all of it. Sometimes he'll go for the wrong thing and start chewing on the door frame. I can't really blame him. There's not much difference between the two.

We didn't trust the floor board heater. One time, my landlord Greg, asked my husband if he had a screw. He said he didn't. Greg said, "Don't worry about it. I'll just grab one from the heating unit and put it in the fire alarm." My husband proceeded to watch him take apart the furnace and removed a screw. First off, why did he need a screw for the fire alarm already installed on the wall? Secondly, why would he take a screw that was already being used? We've come to learn that answering these questions is a waste of time. No one will ever understand Greg. What Greg said that day fully explains how this house was built. We've also learned that the fire alarm in worthless anyway. That's really comforting.

It truly is amazing how your environment can effect you. I felt like I could never keep it clean enough. It always felt dirty. There were big spiders hanging out just outside my door. They have beautiful Bambo growing next to the house with lovely spiders looking in the windows. I was so afraid they'd attack me in the middle of the night. Don't worry. They didn't but I did feel them staring at me. Creepy.

We also didn't have heat for a month. Greg told us we would only need a chord and a half to make it through the winter. Well, he was wrong. Being the frugal people we are, we decided after our second chord of wood to not get another chord. The weather was changing and it wasn't so cold anymore. If we bought another chord of wood it would be a waste if we didn't use it all. Also, I had just purchased snow pants. So we waited out the cold. Well, it didn't get much warmer. A month later I was telling my friends how frustrated I was with not having heat. When I get cold I don't have much motivation. My friend was so nice she said that we could use her large space heater. It was AMAZING! The house doesn't get toasty but it warms it enough to get rid of the cold edge. Also, amazingly enough, I have adapted to cold weather. It doesn't bother me as much. My neighbor was complaining of the cold one day as we stood in the rain while our puppies played. I didn't even notice. Anyone who knows me, knows that is a miracle. I was born freezing. Not anymore!

Not too long ago, I was reading in my daily devotional a story about woman who had lived in this dinky old apartment. She never let it bother her or stop her from having friends over. She made it her own. I set out to do just that. I decorated the house one evening with all my favorite decorations. Before then, I didn't want to waste my time on this house. I'm so glad I did anyway. It lifted my spirits and helped me like the house a lot better. We started laughing about all its shortcomings instead of complaining about it. I have yet to have people come over; one step at a time.

It also helped knowing that my situtation wasn't as bad as others. My neighbor had a leaking roof for four months before my landlord hired someone to fix it. Keep in mind that I live in a state where it rains almost everyday. She said there was black mold growing in the closet. It was only then that the landlord did something. He didn't do anything about the black mold but the roof was repaired. I'm sure he'll get to the mold in a couple of months.

I've come to realize that its not all that bad. It's how you handle the situations that determines the outcome. We changed out attitude and focused our attention on other things. We still live in this house waiting patiently for the day when we can move out but until then, we'll be content with what we have.

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