I had it all wrong

EAS. The long awaited day for my husband. The dreaded day for me. It’s the prescheduled day when the Marine departs from the military. It stands for End of Active Service. Meaning, adios Marine Corps and all your security! Yeah sure, it also means my husband wont die a gruesome death or live with a disability. I wont have to raise my children as a single parent while my husband is off in some country with a gun strapped to his chest like Rambo.


Alright. It is the safe choice but how was I suppose to know that? I've only known a long distance relationship with him. I was used to him gone. I still had my independence, yet, was in a committed relationship. It was the perfect recipe. Okay. I'll admit it. I was terrified. A career change in this economy is a bad idea. My husband was deployed with limited internet availability. Not to mention he was fighting a war. He came home with just enough time to go through the process of getting out of the military. If you’re a Marine you know what I’m talking about. If you’re not, I’ll spare you the frustration. He applied to jobs all over the country in his short amount of time left in the military. He wanted to try his hand at civilian life. He is an intelligent man. He did well in the military. Geez, he does well at everything. He’s one of those guys. I had confidence in him just not in the economy.

Previous to moving to North Carolina, I was working for a company where I saw firsthand the effects of a struggling economy. It was heartbreaking. Perhaps, if I didn’t have that job I could’ve gone naively into civilian life. Unfortunately, I was educated. However, he was adamant that he wanted out of the military. I still don’t understand. He looked so hot in that uniform.

So we spun the globe and our finger landed on Washington State. Neither one of us had been there before. Well, the husband likes to think that going there when he was a baby counts. It doesn’t. We packed up our car and headed across America. Okay, so more than just a car. I had a house load of very important things. The husband had two sea bags. Well, I’m a girl. Seriously, what did you expect?

We had so much fun driving across the US. We visited different cities and landmarks. We saw family and friends we hadn’t seen in a long while. One of my girlfriends from college told me that I could stay in her house in Kansas even though she was on vacation. How sweet is that?! I wish I had a chance to see her but her house was great!

I was so excited to go to the Dakotas. I know, who is excited about that? Me. We came across the Badlands while we were there. Frankly, I had never heard about it before. Apparently, my sister mentioned it once but my ADD must have gotten in the way of my memory that day. We arrived at the Badlands right at sunset. It was so beautiful and majestic. It’s the only time in my life I’ve ever been awestruck. I was so struck by its grandeur that I couldn’t possibly see how someone could deny God after seeing this. Then my husband piped up beside me and explained that carbon dating of the Badlands predated the Bible. I didn’t realize I had spoken out loud. Nonetheless, it was beautiful. We talked about going back there and camping nearby. And when I say camping, I’m talking an air conditioned cabin with full amenities. Seriously, how did a Marine marry a woman like me?

As each mile passed, my anxiety increased. We were moving across country with no home or job in place. That’s a scary future. I need to plan. I need structure. I have to have something to hold on to. My husband, not so much. He was confident he could figure it out. I wish I had balls like that. We arrived in Idaho to visit with his family. It was good to see them. I had only met them once before but talked to them on the phone throughout deployment. My brother-in-law was home on leave from the Army. He brought with him his beautiful bride for us to meet. He’s in Iraq now. I’m sure he’s loving it. I can tell you his wife is not. No one likes deployment—yet I would’ve rather do that again than face this economy. When he comes home he’ll meet his darling little girl for the first time. Oh, I’m so excited for them! What a reunion that will be!

We stayed in Idaho for two weeks. By that time my anxiety was so high it started affecting me physically. I was exhausted and emotional. My patience was very thin by this point. And I was getting fatter. That does not make for a happy girl. Finally, we packed up our things and headed to Washington. Now my husband wanted to become a police officer in Tacoma, WA. And that’s pretty much it. No contacts there. Tacoma wasn’t even hiring but he had hope for us. I didn’t. He’s such a better person than me.

We crossed the state line and drove towards Tacoma. And then drove right through it. Tacoma was pretty sketchy looking. No thanks. We had a friend who lived just south of the Canadian border. He told me while we were in North Carolina still that if we needed a place to stay we could stay with him. We decided to take him up on it. I’m sure he regrets that to this day.

We made it. We were finally in Washington. We were both excited and curious about our future here. We wondered at what memories we would create here. Is this where our children would grow up and call home? Would we be happy here? Does it really rain as much as they say? As our cross country adventure was coming to an end, reality sets in. Now that we're here, what do we do?